Tuesday, July 29, 2008

If Wishes Were Horses We'd All Be Eatin' Steak

[Heavy, distorted bass intro]

Oh, hi.  I didn’t see you standing there. 

Sorry.  The bass intro is in reference to “Crawl” by Kings of Leon of their new album.  They released it for free download of their site.  Let me get you the link.  Here…it…is!  What a small word to put a clickable link on.  Man, I’m obnoxious.  Also, check out that video right beside it.  The song playing is "Use Somebody" and it's one of the new album's best tracks.

So what’s on the docket today besides my own sin?  Yea-ea-ah.  What?  Creed, anyone?  Anybody?  I know you knew…

Forget it.  I am [enter] happy today.  Watch this:








I’m down here.  Ridiculous.

Since I can’t remember what I wanted to touch on, I’ll start with this.  My homeboy, Joseph Howard aka T.H.O.M.A.S., has put out a “Soundtrack To Your Hipster Life” as he puts it.  This kid knows flow.  If I wasn’t paying attention, I wouldn’t even realize there were thirteen individual tracks he blends them so well.  You’ve got Fleet Foxes, Black Kids, Lil’ Wayne (dang you, Joseph), and CSS.  It’s a spanner, that’s for sure.  Please check it out or Joseph will kick me out of the Star Wars Club.

Next, we have Step Brothers.  Your enjoyment of this movie depends on your tolerance for grown men acting like children while yelling curses at each other.  Basically, if you were a fan of any recent Will Ferrell vehicles such as Anchorman, Talledega Nights, or Semi-Pro, you’ll find something to like here.  Most of you would be upset that I’d compare it to Anchorman but it is not even close to that level.  The two just share a sort of silliness.  You can tell that writers Ferrell and Adam McKay (who also directs) wrote a script full of “insert riffage here”’s.  If you take away the obvious set-ups for said riffage, you’d have a movie who’s running time wouldn’t be out of place on a Super-Sized edition of Must-See-TV Thursday on NBC.  But I say again, if you like Ferrell or John C. Reilly (who is a mighty fine actor in both comedic and dramatic roles) you’ll like this movie.  Plus, those who skipped the hilarious Walk Hard , which according to the gross is most of you, owe it to Reilly to see this film.  ‘Nuff said.

Ahh, yes.  Now I remember the whole reason of this post.  It is to revile you in my hypocrisy.  What hypocrisy is that?  Oh, nothing much.  Just a little Today Show visit I made last Friday.  Who was there?  Miley Cyrus.  Who?  Miley Cyrus..  I can’t hear you.  MILEY CYRUS!!!  GEEZ!  YOU HAPPY NOW?!!!  I went to see Miley Cyrus.

Hold on, hold on.  Sit back down.  I didn’t go for the tuneage.  I went for the babeage.  Just kidding, just kidding!  Jeff, I’m looking at you.  But in all serious, it was a complete voyeuristic experience (in respect to the crowds.  I'm digging a hole here...).  I had to see the madness of the crowds (Yeah, Ace Troubleshooter reference for you right there).  And for that reason it was worth it. 

Eight thousand people showed up.  For the first time in history, 48th street was shut down.  See that?  First time.  It didn’t happen for Hanson, or N*SYNC, or the Backstreet Boys.  It happened for Miley Cyrus and I was there.  (Wow, I just noticed there’s no colored, wavy line under N*SYNC.  Spell checker is a boy band fan.)  Anyway, it’s the closest to Beatle-mania I’ll ever get.  It’s totally a 21st century thing though in that the female audience is going Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga (I am just full of musical references today) over, that’s right, a female.  Bizarre.  It used to be prepubescent girls crushed on the cute boys.  Now I know it’s not the same thing and that’s good.  Maybe it’s actually about the music to this generation.  Cyrus is no impeccable songstress, not in the least bit, but she can sing.  And the tunes have a different spunky feel versus the “I’ll love you baby, baby, baby”crud of that boy band trash.  Girls just want to have fun, right?  What is that?  Number four?

I don’t’ want to go into too much detail about how it all went down.  I got up at 3am to get there and lines were already everywhere with no particular order.  Since I was a vet after seeing Coldplay there, I knew somewhat how it worked.  So I met my friend Allison who used the “I was a nanny last summer so that’s why I want to see this” junk and her friend Ted.  Ted, by the way, is one of the funniest people I’ve ever met.  He schmoozed the cops and security guards to where they didn’t see us as a threat.  We basically just walked anywhere we wanted but the trick was to act like you knew what you were doing.  We did just that and actually made it in the official area.  Here’s what makes that feat more impressive:  GE & NBC employees reserved about 800 VIP’s for the area leaving only about 300 or so spots for us common folk.  Remember how many people I said showed up?  Needless to say, it was chaos.  But an experience I won’t soon forget. 

What else is up?  On the music front, Conor Oberst of Bright Eyes fame has his self-titled record coming out.  I’ve never been much of a fan, for one because he hates Texas, and for two he’s pretentious and pompous.  I guess that's three.  But I’m gonna give the indie king his due, he’s made a great record.  Check it out when it hits stores August 5th. 

Another band that hasn’t quite won me over but is definitely worthy of a mention just because I like metaphors is The War On Drugs.  Imagine if you were riding through the Wild West in a stagecoach and the radio was tuned to an indie station.  You like that?  How about maybe what the crew of Firefly would be listening to?

Speaking of Firefly, if you’ve never seen this show, you’ve just plain got to.  Created by Joss Whedon, it’s a sci-fi western that follows a group of smugglers as they travel the galaxy,  a galaxy FOX killed before it got a chance to catch on.  Doesn’t that network have that reputation?  The show is funny, heartfelt, and overtly creative while paradoxically resting on western clichés.  The episode that stands out to me is “Out Of Gas.”  It’s the eighth one in the set of fourteen and has all the good stuff.  Flashbacks, flashforwards, drama, suspense, and humor.  That might seem overwhelming or intimidating but any LOST fan worth their salt gets it immediately.  It is one of my most favorite hours of television period.  Stick it in your cue, ladies & gentlemen.  (We are tonight’s entertainment.  Haha.  Couldn’t help myself.  It’s still going strong, that Dark Knight).

I think that’s about it.  I’ve written far too much for someone who planned a quick check-in.  I hope you have a good week and be sure to keep your iTunes music folders organized and in one place before it’s too late.  You’ll be glad you heeded that advice.

Til next time, baby birds. 

- Chase


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

you are wise, good sir, you are wise.